Pets are not simple.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, you, that young(ish) couple who just moved in together, or got engaged, or are on your honeymoon. You’re thinking, “Let’s get a dog/cat/teacup pig! It will be so fun/cuddly/awesome!”

If this is you, and, from time to time, conversations in your household ALSO include, “I can’t wait until we can start making lots and lots of babies!”, I would ask you, nay, PLEAD with you, to hold off on getting that dog/cat/teacup pig until AFTER you make the babies. Or at the very least one of those babies.

At that point, if you still really, REALLY want a pet in addition to the baby, by all means go for it. You have my blessing. But if you discover that you are already having enough trouble finding time to sleep/clean the house/take a shower (really, you can insert just about any basic human activity here) once you have said child, you will be glad you heeded my advice and now do not also have to try to squeeze in walking the dog/brushing the cat/doing whatever someone does with a teacup pig.

I feel better having gotten that off my chest. Now, does anyone want to adopt two adorable cats who never, EVER scratch the furniture, track litter all over the house, sit on your face when you’re trying to sleep, or knock glasses off the counter tops?